Posted on July 22, 2009 at 8:12am.
I think someone knew what they were doing when they assigned me the blog that has to do with struggling. It seems to be a sub theme to my life. The goal around here is to “struggle well”, but these past few months I think I have just struggled. Some moments of great progress, and some moments of discouragement and outright sadness. I am clinging to the disciplines that allow for movement, and am finding the peace I need to remain faithful, but there is not much in reserve. I am called toady to be faithful to Him, and I am dependent upon His power to do that. That said, there is a replenishing and rebuilding happening that words do not seem to reveal, it is subtle, but it is there. He is here. For this, and the joys of today - I am grateful.
Posted on July 16, 2009 at 1:27pm.
I am trying to get in front of it all. And frankly, lately my efforts seem futile. Somehow my brain is convinced that because it is summertime, that the living is supposed to be easy. It makes a great song, but is not a reality. Sure there are breaks, vacations, and get-aways, but the work it takes to get out of town, and then recover when you get back,makes me wonder if it is worth it. Not to mention the wackiness of spending those times with extended family, where you can easily trade one set of pressures for others. This has been a wildly crazy full summer - at home, at church, with friends we care about, and in my own personal life. Last weekend found me undone, as depleted as I have been in some time. I heard a great message, got a good night sleep, and started over. I am trying to get in front of it all. Yes, some in my own effort, but I am working on that dying to self deal, and living for God. No doubt, God is faithful, and will meet me in this slump. I have already felt Him realigning my heart and mind, as I pick up the Word and return to him over and over in thought and prayer. Once again, looking for Him to do for me, what I cannot do for myself.
Posted on July 1, 2009 at 4:44pm.
Tomorrow morning we will join all of you crazy summer travelers on the road of our fine country. Heading to NJ for some fun and sun on the Jersey shore. Lord willing, the drive will take under 10 hours, though I have made it in 9. My guess is that I will be making great time until we hit our nation’s capital, and then it will be bumper to bumper from there to the beach. I am guessing this 9-10 hour trip will end up being more like 13-14. So there I will be, in a car with three women, the one in the front exhausted and drifting in and out consciousness from working up to the time we leave to get ready, and the two teenagers in the backseat will either be out like lights or hooked up to an Ipod or DVD player. I love family time.
Wow, that really sounds negative. On the bright side, I am destined for a good sub, caramel corn on the boardwalk, a real bagel,and a walk or two along the waters edge with my bride of 20 years! It’s all good!
Posted on July 1, 2009 at 8:04am.
Realized this morning as I sat in a quiet house just how needy I am. I typically feel bad about feeling needy. I have worked hard most of my life not to be an imposition, which has a story of it’s own, so being needy is tough. But I am. I need what I do not have. I need what only God has: Strength for a new day, mercy and compassion, forgiveness, grace, and a whole lot more. I need His perspective, His Spirit. I am needy, and today I am discovering that I am ok with that, more than ok I am uncovering a new peace in my need.
