http://www.churchatcharlotte.org/site/index.php?/blog/struggling/ en info@churchatcharlotte.org Copyright 2012 2012-02-07T11:30:52+00:00 http://www.churchatcharlotte.org/site/index.php/blog/entry/struggling/the-challenge-of-a-new-day/ http://www.churchatcharlotte.org/site/index.php/blog/entry/struggling/the-challenge-of-a-new-day/ Who will I live for today?  That’s the question that sits before me. Beyond the roles, demands and expectations that come from varied directions I turn my head and fix my eyes in one pursuit - Jesus.  O that this intention here in the quietness of the morning will hold me fixed and focused throughout this day.  I acknowledged Him as Lord in prayer, may this day find me living for Him as Lord in practice. 2012-02-07T11:30:52+00:00 http://www.churchatcharlotte.org/site/index.php/blog/entry/struggling/a-child/ http://www.churchatcharlotte.org/site/index.php/blog/entry/struggling/a-child/ I am a 51 year old child.  My Father knows better than I do what I need and when I need it.  This past week has brought extreemly specific reminders of His care for me through a myriad of unexpected places and people.  There is a new awareness of the Spirit that I am desperate to hold on to, and drive deeper into my consciousness.  I am His child, and finding even greater care and power in belonging to Him.  2012-02-05T13:46:52+00:00 http://www.churchatcharlotte.org/site/index.php/blog/entry/struggling/life-is-a-battle/ http://www.churchatcharlotte.org/site/index.php/blog/entry/struggling/life-is-a-battle/ It sounds pessimistic to speak of life being a struggle, and to claim that everyday is a battle - and yet truth be told there is a struggle and battle everyday.  And our battle is not about our jobs, relationships and finances. . . .  It may show up there, but the real battle is spiritual - Ephesians 6 spells it out clearly.  There is a spiritual war going on in this world that I am a part of.  Not to acknowledge it and to expect it only sets us up for even greater tensions.  I have recently been more acutely aware of this warfare and the cumulative weight of it seemed to leave me more vulnerable and exposed.  And just when I felt depleted God the Holy Spirit breathed new life, new perspective, and new joy.  God did a work in me this week that was specific and very personal.  I didn’t know how much I needed that, but I did.  2012-02-04T15:10:50+00:00 http://www.churchatcharlotte.org/site/index.php/blog/entry/struggling/ive-heard-from-the-lord/ http://www.churchatcharlotte.org/site/index.php/blog/entry/struggling/ive-heard-from-the-lord/ It always baffles me when I hear people say that “God spoke to them” or “I’ve heard from the Lord”.  This seems to imply a special revelation and specific directive, which Is not out of the realm of how God would choose to work.  But I wonder if “God speaking to us” has as much to do with us clearing out all the other voices in our heads so that we can hear the firm steady voice of the Spirit that is always present in us, and drawing us to Jesus.  God is constant, and His presence is not evoked by our invitation or dismissed by our preoccupation.  I look for opportunities to speak to my kids, and hope they will hear my voice.  I know He is a much better Father, and longs for me to hear His voice too. 2012-02-01T19:25:29+00:00 http://www.churchatcharlotte.org/site/index.php/blog/entry/struggling/tuesday-sabath/ http://www.churchatcharlotte.org/site/index.php/blog/entry/struggling/tuesday-sabath/ I am finishing a day where I have returned to the well.  I spend one day a month unplugged from the routine of life in an attempt to realign my heart and refuel my soul.  Actually the discipline may come from me, but the real work of renewal comes from the Spirit.  I used to think I could never give up an entire day for what felt self indulgent, and now have grown to look forward to this day, and depend and anticipate God revealing himself in the stillness.  My sabbath came on a Tuesday. 2012-01-31T21:20:50+00:00 http://www.churchatcharlotte.org/site/index.php/blog/entry/struggling/slow-but-sure/ http://www.churchatcharlotte.org/site/index.php/blog/entry/struggling/slow-but-sure/ It’s a good thing that I have to hear the sermon three or four times in a weekend as I a, a slow learner. It was on the shuttle ride back to the parking lot when it finally hit me - I have yet again turned my eyes away from Jesus.  I have allowed the voices around me, and the voices in my head speak and have influence that is only meant for Jesus.  I wish it was as simple as singing a chorus and realigning my allegiance, for the work of conviction and repentance is taking it’s toll on me. 2012-01-16T22:26:12+00:00 http://www.churchatcharlotte.org/site/index.php/blog/entry/struggling/sad-choices/ http://www.churchatcharlotte.org/site/index.php/blog/entry/struggling/sad-choices/ This week has brought news from several folks about choices, sad choices made and being made.  There is pain, consequential pain flowing through life after life.  O God speak your presence into the hearts, and lives of those who need to be reminded that you are there, here, and very present. 2012-01-14T21:42:54+00:00 http://www.churchatcharlotte.org/site/index.php/blog/entry/struggling/journals/ http://www.churchatcharlotte.org/site/index.php/blog/entry/struggling/journals/ I am a journal-er, and have been for decades.  Somehow I am able to write things to God that won’t come by literally opening my mouth or my mind in prayer.  I have been amazed at times at what has come out of the end of a pen that I was not really or fully aware I was thinking or feeling.  Journaling has been a helpful gift and discipline in my pursuit of Christ.  Volumes of running commentary on Scripture and the day to day realities and issues of life, which are simply the ramblings of a struggler.  As I was adding another volume to the shelf the other day, I realized that all the most intimate and personal aspects of my life were collected in this one place, and most intimate was my decades old conversation with God.  This was never meant to include anyone else, even those in my family who may one day stumble upon these after I’m gone.  My journaling, praying, was for one purpose - my conversation with the Almighty. And so I sat in front of a shredder and kept what is personal personal.  With each volume that filled the basket I felt a deeper connection and intimacy to my first Love. 2012-01-12T11:54:44+00:00 http://www.churchatcharlotte.org/site/index.php/blog/entry/struggling/fun-chapter/ http://www.churchatcharlotte.org/site/index.php/blog/entry/struggling/fun-chapter/ One daughter back to school, and the other leaves this weekend.  This new chapter of parenting adult children continues to challenge and surprise me.  We are working real hard at not being “instructional”, and I bit down on my tongue quite a few times over the holidays.  They need to make their own decisions, and live in the consequences of those choices - good and bad.  It’s interesting that the less instructional that we have become, the more inclusive they are about what is going on in their heads and hearts.  The conversations we have had over the past few weeks have been a real gift, and give me even greater insight in knowing how to pray for them.  Never having it as a goal to be their friend with carrying the weight of being their father, the surprise in this chapter is how they have befriended their mom and me.  Somehow they have seen beyond the chauffeuring,, debit carding, and meal providing and have intentionally pursued us as actual human beings with a life and feelings of our own.  Their physical absence for the better part of the year has brought an emotional presence within the relationships.  This is a fun chapter. 2012-01-11T11:52:59+00:00 http://www.churchatcharlotte.org/site/index.php/blog/entry/struggling/unchanging/ http://www.churchatcharlotte.org/site/index.php/blog/entry/struggling/unchanging/ You reach a certain age and it is necessary to have annual checkups with your doctor.  Last week I went in for the dreaded visit and my doctor/friend asked me for my list.  Sad - that I had a list.  Sad - that there were more than a couple of things on my list, and sad - that if I didn’t bring my list I may have left the office and forgotten to cover something major.  Things change, bodies change, life is so I’ll of change, and yet I wake up today so wonderfully grateful that in all the change around me that I am rooted in the One who never changes.  Jesus is constant, faithful, who stands like a strong tower in the chaos of all change, and is never changing.  Reminded this morning by a note placed on my Bible by my daughter - Jeremiah 31:3 “I have loved you with an everlasting love, I have drawn you with unfailing kindness”.  Everlasting, the same yesterday, today and forever. 2012-01-10T12:04:48+00:00