Struggling Well With Life

I am a 51 year old child.  My Father knows better than I do what I need and when I need it.  This past week has brought extreemly specific reminders of His care for me through a myriad of unexpected places and people.  There is a new awareness of the Spirit that I am desperate to hold on to, and drive deeper into my consciousness.  I am His child, and finding even greater care and power in belonging to Him. 

It sounds pessimistic to speak of life being a struggle, and to claim that everyday is a battle - and yet truth be told there is a struggle and battle everyday.  And our battle is not about our jobs, relationships and finances. . . .  It may show up there, but the real battle is spiritual - Ephesians 6 spells it out clearly.  There is a spiritual war going on in this world that I am a part of.  Not to acknowledge it and to expect it only sets us up for even greater tensions.  I have recently been more acutely aware of this warfare and the cumulative weight of it seemed to leave me more vulnerable and exposed.  And just when I felt depleted God the Holy Spirit breathed new life, new perspective, and new joy.  God did a work in me this week that was specific and very personal.  I didn’t know how much I needed that, but I did. 

It always baffles me when I hear people say that “God spoke to them” or “I’ve heard from the Lord”.  This seems to imply a special revelation and specific directive, which Is not out of the realm of how God would choose to work.  But I wonder if “God speaking to us” has as much to do with us clearing out all the other voices in our heads so that we can hear the firm steady voice of the Spirit that is always present in us, and drawing us to Jesus.  God is constant, and His presence is not evoked by our invitation or dismissed by our preoccupation.  I look for opportunities to speak to my kids, and hope they will hear my voice.  I know He is a much better Father, and longs for me to hear His voice too.

I am finishing a day where I have returned to the well.  I spend one day a month unplugged from the routine of life in an attempt to realign my heart and refuel my soul.  Actually the discipline may come from me, but the real work of renewal comes from the Spirit.  I used to think I could never give up an entire day for what felt self indulgent, and now have grown to look forward to this day, and depend and anticipate God revealing himself in the stillness.  My sabbath came on a Tuesday.