Posted on January 9, 2012 at 6:00am.
Last night was a rare gift. We had a late dinner, and it was just the four of us, and the conversation evolved to where we were each talking about the current state of our relationship with God. Our children know us as well as anyone, and my youngest said as a matter of fact that I do not think God is pleased to hear from me when I pray, and then they both began to Scripturally rake me over the coals for having such a warped view of God. They were absolutely right. I have felt that way recently, and it is dead wrong. How heart warming it is to be reached by the Spirit through the wise counsel of daughters.
Posted on January 4, 2012 at 6:52am.
It’s hard to get motivated to start over. It’s like playing Monopoly and being sent back on the board to start again. The first couple of times you can get excited about the game and view the setback as a challenge, but after a while starting over is just downright discouraging. Though the calendar reveals a new month and a new year, this heart reveals the same man with the same old issues - starting over, coming back, and beginning again. It still amazes and even surprises me that God does not meet me at this starting line again with shame, but with grace.
Posted on January 3, 2012 at 6:19am.
Reading about the “living hope” we have in 1 Peter, and realizing that so many of the things I hope for are not at all what he is talking about here. My hope has to be in Christ, not in what he may or may not do for me, but in Him and Him alone. There are so many things I long for in my life, and in the lives of those around me and these things are good, but none really promised to me. Hope for me is reduced to this simple truth, that no matter what - I am not alone, I am in Christ and Christ is with me. I think that’s pretty much it. Relationships may or may not be restored, health may or may not be mine, my children may or may not fall in harm’s way, and the list continues. To put my hope in any of these things will leave me where I have already lived - disappointed and confused. He has called me to hope, and that hope is found solely in Him. I have lost my way again, putting my hope in the things of this world, the things I wish we’re different. My hope has been based in a wish list. Forgive me Lord, I took my eyes off of you.
Posted on January 2, 2012 at 10:13am.
Today is a big day. It is the official close to the holiday season, and I must finish well. At our house we move right out of Christmas and into birthday mode. Meg turned 19 yesterday, and Terri took a further step into her fifties today. Looking for the energy and momentum to finish strong. We all had breakfast in bed with her, and I have to pull off one more special meal. I think it is going to be a Pasta Provisions catered event. Cannolis with a candle will have to take the place of cake. How fun to have the girls home. How grateful I am for all three of my women. Terri deserves to feel special today, no matter how much we have already celebrated. She is a good woman, a very good woman.
Posted on December 31, 2011 at 4:41pm.
I need a fresh start. I am holding on by the skin of my teeth to the disciplines in my life, in fact that is an overstatement, I am blowing it. I feel like a blob, out of control and out of sync. Today was an incredible Spring day smack dab at the end of December. I was either going to eat another plate of homemade chocolate chip cookies, or go for a run. Not strong enough to go on my own, so I made a call to a friend. It was either a run or hunkering down in gluttony again. My buddy answered the phone and met me 10 minutes later. All of my disciplines seem connected, and if one falls the others follow like dominoes. So this is much more than just eating. The run was a small victory. We are having communion at our services this weekend, and good time to realign my heart and mind. Happy New Year.
