Guest post by Kristen Pittman
The blinking cursor on a blank screen has mocked me often this week. So many times I’ve started putting words to page only to stop, delete and begin again.
It’s not for want of thoughts or ideas. There are plenty. Rather, that’s just how life has been since my daughter came nearly five months ago. Things happen in fits and starts, paused and begun anew as I’ve gotten my feet beneath me on the road of motherhood.
That’s how time with Jesus has been too. A couple of minutes here. Some seconds there. Most of them happen in the dead of night or the earliest hours of morning through prayers offered to the rhythm of a rocking chair, songs sung silently in the stillness of a sleeping world.
As someone who tries to make my relationship with Jesus about lists and rules, it’s been hard to let go of a traditional “quiet time” in this season of life. It’s been hard not to be able to sit with my Bible and scribble in a journal for a self-prescribed amount of time every morning.
Even so, God has rooted ancient truth deeply in my heart.
Watching the sunrise after hours of settling my girl’s restless sleep? Come to Me you who are weary and I will give you rest.
Staring at the dishes piled in the sink and feeling the stress of chores undone? Let My peace rule in your heart.
Fretting about whether I can truly model godly living? Abide in me…as the branch cannot bear fruit by itself unless it abides in the vine, neither can you unless you abide in me.
Realizing I will fail my daughter again and again? My power is perfected in your weakness.
Constantly worrying and wondering “what if…?” I am your refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore, do not fear.
I may look back over these months and see empty journal pages stretching for weeks. I may not be able to provide a single shred of my usual physical proof for the work done in me. But I will always remember these days as ones Jesus took what little I have to offer and multiplied it, transforming my mind and fortifying my heart one rocking chair session at a time.